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23 responses
Nicky, what brilliant advice! I found this really inspirational. I really like the way you reframed the experience.
You’re most welcome! Thanks Gill Nx
Wow – what a really useful blog. It’s so clear. Of course I’m not a failure – I tried something and it didn’t work out. But at least I tried, and that’s better than doing nothing! Thanks Nicky.
My pleasure N x
Great video, Nicky. And really useful tips.
Thank you so much for sharing in such a warm, funny and engaging manner.
Hey Juliet – thanks for the feedback – good to hear from you. nicky x
I can already tell that’s gonna be super helpufl.
Wow, loved that Nicky – convinced sooner or later Simon will deeply regret his action :-)! Do you still sing? We humans are crazy, learning is good, right? So when we learn from our ‘mistakes’ why we are so afraid making them? Can you re-send this post to me in a week? Repetition you know…
Thanks Annik – yes, we’re playing at the Roundhouse in Camden on 4th March as part of a festival – come! nx
Yes! Yes! Yes! SO SO true! This is very, very good. Congratulations, Nicky 🙂
Aw, thanks Maciej – lovely feedback nicky xx
http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts.html
Excellent advice, many people my give distorted feedback to suit their own agendas as you rightly say, Still at least it wasn’t as bad as being rejected by That girl from N-Dubz!!… Craig xx…
agreed!! thanks Craig. Great to hear from you x
Dear Nicky,
Thank you for this fab blog post – It’s a true & touching real-life story, well presented & analyzed! I really loved how you addressed it and offered real simple yet powerful tips for everyone to embrace and utilize in their career.
Your big smile, sparkling eyes & great sense to humor approach really gets through and I’m really confident that will inspire and motivate many others. Kudos! 🙂
I’ll definitely stay tuned with your blog for more inspiring tips!
Cheers,
Shai
Thanks Shai – what lovely words. I
really appreciate it nicky x
Hi Nicky, very good. Thanks for sharing! Go on like this! I absolutely know the feeling of getting turned down. How disgusting: They shouldn’t be allowed to judge others when they are not even listening for a while! And the judgement had nothing to do with you anyway! He didn’t like a-cappella, he was tired, he had a bad day, he wanted to see some puppies, he needed to show his power, he found it was time to turn somebody down in a talent-show…. you never know!!! I once had an audition for a tap-musical with a lot of singing. My thing. There were hardly any tap dancers around, it was an easy game for me, and I knew from my long stage experience+success, that I had personality as well. But: They didn’t let me through, and didn’t even want to hear me sing, without explaining why! I was so down, doubting all my skills, wondering why why why. From a friend in that business I later heard they wanted small blond woman who’d better not draw attention through personality or fun, cause they were meant to dance in a group simultaneously, nobody should stick out (like in 42nd street)! I was so relieved. I couldn’t have danced without self-expression like a number in a group, surpressing my passion and fun. But they could at least have told me I needn’t audition when I am tall and dark-haired! But it’s a dirty business. They just don’t care about you, they want to sell something, you’re a number. So good if you see through this, so good you have your friends, so good to be happy about your talents, so good to create, sing and dance and bring joy to the world!! xx
Awesome story Ursula – thank you so much for this. I think it’s really useful to be objective in these situations. Yes, it can be so easy to become a ‘number’ rather than a person when you’re in a factory line up, auditioning with hundreds of others. I guess people doing the auditions aren’t focused on how you feel, they’re bored and frustrated by the monotony and become cynical too. That’s exactly why it’s so important to see yourself as worthy, wonderful and valuable and do it for the love of your work. Avoid placing importance on being ‘seen’ or expecting people to value what you do and get this met from within.
Thanks for taking the time to share. Nicky x
Great blog Nicky. Simon is just so very wrong; The Few rock!
My story:
Submitted a novel (by invitation) to a publisher I worship. After months of waiting by the proverbial phone, I finally got a reply with feedback. The feedback read “lacking in climax and unfailingly wooden characters”. Yep. Unfailingly wooden: never failing in being wooden. So I cried a bit (a lot). Shook my fist of fury at a world that doesn’t understand my genius.
Then I reread the work and realised that the man was actually right; it could be a lot better. I spent a year rewriting, and submitted it yet again (to the same publisher). My novel is now due to come out in the fall! Happy times.
Fantastic story Mihaela – it could be so easy to give up when someone gives you feedback on your hard earned work, and instead, you chose to see it from their perspective and enriched your own learning. I bet the experience of having a published book will feel even more fulfilling, knowing what it took to achieve it. Good luck and do let me know when it’s out so I can celebrate with you! nicky x
I love this 🙂 I love Simon Cowell too – he is funny – it’s important to remember that he is such a massive agenda and doesn’t really like to get involved in the human element of it at all!
Working with the people who are not my target audience was my big hurdle to get over. I am a healer & teacher and now, I specialise in working with other healer types to help them get more power & become more creative & confident. They are now the only people I work with, because they are the only ones I love working with.
Working with 2 clients, very close together, that I didn’t really want to work with was my humiliating experience. I took the bookings for the money (ah, self employment) but they weren’t self aware people & didn’t want to do the work, they just wanted me to tell them they were in the right. One was a reading from hell, where she accused me of offering guidance only suitable for crazy people (before telling me that the 6 people she had seen before had been just as ‘crazy’as me – clearly they had told her the same thing, not what she wanted to hear) and one guy who came for a treatment who actually sat up in the middle of it and said ‘I’m done, I’m going to the pub now’. Wow.
But it made me refuse to ever take such bookings again and commit to only working with the clients I loved – the ones who want to go deep & hold spirituality as a priority.
Thank you, horrendous client experiences!
PS – saw your blog linked to from Corrina Gordon-Barnes 🙂
What a pleasure to find someone who ideftinies the issues so clearly
Thank you for your story Kay – a strong case for being guided by your intuition and trusting yourself to work with clients who are a good fit – so true! Thanks for the reminder for me too. Nicky x