Articles

Perfectionism – fear in high heels

IMG_2528“I’m not going to show anyone this piece of work until it’s absolutely ready!”

It’s a phrase I hear a lot from my creative clients. You may relate to this!

It sounds reasonable enough. You want your work to be a high standard.

But why?

Well, perhaps because you want to GUARANTEE that people will like what you do.

So there’s the catch.  If you are honest, you realise that this has the whiff of the biggest enemy to creativity – PERFECTIONISM!

In hther latest book “Big Magic”, Elizabeth Gilbert explains how women are especially prone to this phenomenon.  She describes it as ‘fear in a mink coat and high heels’.  I would also include ambitious men, who can hide their fear of failure or judgement underneath a veneer of striving for excellence.

It prevents us from promoting our ideas, applying for jobs or simply finishing projects. Unconsciously, we know that if we finish, then we won’t have any excuse not to share it.

I know one client who even described how he would book a deadline to finish a book, and at the same time he would plan to get the flu.

It is a huge barrier to step over perfectionism, but here are some ways that I have found can help:

  1. Learn to be compassionate with yourself and focus on your positives. Perfectionist thinking is focusing on what isn’t working. If you retrain your brain to scan for positive traits, you will boost your confidence and courage to share.
  1. Focus on ‘good enough’ rather than perfect. Perfection is impossible to achieve and will always create a barrier. Research shows that people who focus on ‘good’ tend to progress faster because they are able to share, gather feedback and move on.
  1. Take one small risk every day. Big risks can be foolhardy, but small risks can build up your resilience muscle. Contact the company you really want to work for make a phone call, offer to do a speech.
  1. Inject fun into the mix. Perfection seeking creates tension and restricts creativity. Fun allows us to relax , take more risks and access our creativity.

5. Come to my “Playful Presence’ Workshop on Friday 2nd October in London

If you fancy the ‘perfect’ 😉 arena for unleashing creativity, self expression and risk taking – I have four places left on my ‘Playful Presence’ workshop aimed at ambitious creatives who want to be bolder. I’m only running it once, so don’t miss out!

silly-hats-only_637

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/playful-presence-public-speaking-workshop-tickets-18345765679

It will help you to embrace your shyness, let go of perfectionism and learn to have fun talking in public.

Finally – Leave a comment!

I would love to hear your experiences of handling perfectionism and what works for you.

Please leave a comment below.

Share this article! 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Sign up today for my free video series to help you overcome nerves, speak with courage, and free your voice when it counts.

TO VIEW CONTENT INCLUDING EMBEDDED VIDEOS...

I use cookies to enhance your experience and help you get the most out of my website. By continuing, you agree to our use of cookies. If you scroll down the page, I will take it you agree to cookie use, and you're ready to enjoy the website content cookies and all.

Cookies settings
Accept
Decline
Privacy & Cookie policy
Privacy & Cookies policy
Cookie name Active

Privacy Policy

What information do I collect?

I collect information from you when you register on my site. When you sign up for courses on my site, as appropriate, you may be asked to enter your: name, e-mail address, or mailing address. ---

What do I use your information for?

Any of the information I collect from you may be used in one of the following ways: * To personalize your experience *(your information helps me to better respond to your individual needs)* * To improve my website *(I continually strive to improve my website offerings based on the information and feedback I receive from you)* * To improve customer service *(your information helps me to more effectively respond to your customer service requests and support needs)* *Your information, whether public or private, will not be sold, exchanged, transferred, or given to any other company for any reason whatsoever, without your consent, other than for the express purpose of delivering the purchased product or service requested.* * To administer a contest, promotion, survey or other site feature * To send periodic emails *The email address you provide for order processing will only be used to send you information and updates pertaining to your order.* ---

How do I protect your information?

I implement a variety of security measures to maintain the safety of your personal information when you place an order or enter, submit, or access your personal information. I offer the use of a secure server. All supplied sensitive information is transmitted via Secure Socket Layer (SSL) technology and then encrypted into my payment gateway provider's database only to be accessible by those authorized with special access rights to such systems, and who are required to keep the information confidential. ---

Do I use cookies?

Yes. Cookies are small files that a site or its service provider transfers to your computer’s hard drive through your web browser (if you allow) that enables the site or service provider’s systems to recognize your browser and capture and remember certain information. I use cookies to help me remember and process the items in your shopping cart, understand and save your preferences for future visits, keep track of advertisements, and compile aggregate data about site traffic and site interaction so I can offer better site experiences and tools in the future. I may contract with third-party service providers to assist me in better understanding my site visitors. These service providers are not permitted to use the information collected on my behalf except to help me conduct and improve my business. If you prefer, you can choose to have your computer warn you each time a cookie is being sent, or you can choose to turn off all cookies via your browser settings. Like most websites, if you turn your cookies off, some of my services may not function properly. However, you can still place orders by contacting customer service. ---

Google Analytics

I use Google Analytics on my site for anonymous reporting of site usage and for advertising on the site. If you would like to opt-out of Google Analytics monitoring your behaviour on my site, please use this link: [https://tools.google.com/dlpage/gaoptout/](https://tools.google.com/dlpage/gaoptout/) ---

Do I disclose any information to outside parties?

I do not sell, trade, or otherwise transfer to outside parties your personally identifiable information. This does not include trusted third parties who assist me in operating my website, conducting my business, or servicing you, so long as those parties agree to keep this information confidential. I may also release your information when I believe release is appropriate to comply with the law, enforce my site policies, or protect mine or others’ rights, property, or safety. However, non-personally identifiable visitor information may be provided to other parties for marketing, advertising, or other uses. ---

Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act Compliance

I am in compliance with the requirements of COPPA (Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act). I do not collect any information from anyone under 13 years of age. My website, products, and services are all directed to people who are at least 13 years old or older. ---

Your Consent

By using my site, you consent to my privacy policy. ---

Changes to My Privacy Policy

If I decide to change my privacy policy, I will post those changes on this page.
Save settings
Cookies settings